r2-Nicole-p1
Mulder's apartment
October 18, 1999
06:00 a.m.He tried to be quiet, tried not to waken Alex again, as he had done several times in the night. The dream kept coming, little details added to make him shiver in fear. Sometimes it was just a table ladened with sexual toys, toys that were meant to hurt as well as to pleasure. In one of the dreams, the blue-eyed man had picked up what looked to be a little wand. He pressed a button and smiled as little bolts of electricity buzzed from the tip of the wand. Mulder had woken from that struggling against imaginary bonds. Alex had kissed him to sleep again. This time the morning light was just making an entry into his bedroom and Alex was snuggled beside him like a child. He wouldn't move, wouldn't make a sound to disturb his lover's sleep. Why was he having these dreams? Were them premonitory in nature? Was he going to meet up with that man? He shuddered, breaking his vow of immobility.
"The dream again?"
Alex's voice startled him and he turned his head to see gleaming jade peering through a thick curtain of lash. "Oh...yeah," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Alex, I didn't want to wake you again. You must think I'm nuts."
Alex drew a finger over Fox's smooth face. He looked so young that it hurt Alex to see him with his hazel eyes wide with trepidation. He wanted to hide him away from any worry or fear. He could too. Just take Fox away to one of his many "nests" around the world. His safe places. Keep Mulder to himself for the rest of their days. "Tell me about it, baby, what's he doing to you? Why are you so afraid?"
Mulder shook his head and Alex just stared. "Tell me," Alex insisted.
"It's embarrassing. It's just a dream," Fox mumbled.
Alex watched the red flush stain the flawless skin and he frowned. "Embarrassing?"
"Yes," Fox whispered, closing those expressive eyes.
"Why? And don't tell me it's nothing," Alex growled. "You woke up so many times last night, struggling...it isn't like your dreams of your sister's abduction. Baby, you're scared. Let me help you." He rolled over on top of Fox, trapping the young, slim body, beneath his more powerful frame. "Talk to me." He kissed the sinfully full lips and sighed. "You know I'd do anything for you, Fox. Trust me."
"I do trust you, Alex," Fox protested.
"Then tell me what he is doing to you," Alex repeated.
Fox stared up at him, not wanting to say a word. Maybe if he just stared up at Alex long enough, Alex would become distracted. Maybe if he licked his lips just so, that always seemed to drive Alex crazy. But, he could only close his eyes and shake his head. "I don't know...he is just hurting me...wanting me to say his name," Mulder finally whispered.
Alex's lips brushed his brow. "Is that what made you freak out?" though his voice was soothing, calm even, Mulder could hear the disbelief beneath the tone.
"I don't know, Alex," he lied. He raised his eyes, to see if his lover bought it. The hurt there, though quickly masked, made Fox feel guilty. Alex had been as honest about his feelings as anyone could be expected, from the first; completely honest about every feeling he had ever had for Mulder. When Alex would have drawn away, Fox wrapped his arms about the wide shoulders, feeling Alex tense, as if he was about to force Fox to let him go, an instinctive reaction, one that Alex obviously resisted, to stay in Fox's hold.
"Alex, I'm sorry. It isn't that I don't trust you, or don't want to be honest. Really. It is just embarrassing to talk about it."
"It's just a dream, baby," Alex sighed into the curve of Fox's ear. "Why be embarrassed? How is he hurting you?"
Fox shifted to get closer to Alex, not simply for comfort but just to feel that strong body against his, reveling in the clean scent of him. "Jesus, Alex. Okay," he said quickly as he felt Alex begin to move away. "He's hurting me, sexually." Alex whipped his head to face him, eyes widening. Mulder steeled himself, thinking of himself as just a subject to be discussed dispassionately. His words were stilted, emotionlessly given. "His fist is inside me, there are things on a table beside me...things that I know hurt...and he wants me to say his name. All I can think of is where are you. And I'm afraid...more afraid then I've ever been. Afraid of what he's doing to me...afraid that he might have hurt you, because no matter how much I want you there, you never come." He looked at Alex's stricken, shocked face. "And I know you would come...if you could."
Alex felt sick, Fox sounded so calm, but it was a fake calm, horrible words to come from someone who looked so tender. Fox had seen terrible things, he knew the youthful face was a facade, even if it was physiologically permanent. The mind beyond the lovely eyes had seen all manners of viciousness and horror. Still, he wanted to shield him from all that...especially now. He buried his face in Mulder's neck. "I hate that dream," he growled, pulling Fox tighter to him. So tight he felt Fox shift uncomfortably. He eased up a bit kissing the smooth skin of Mulder's neck in apology. "I hate you being afraid, even if it is just a dream." The image of some man fisting his Fox made him sick, especially knowing it was a rape and that his baby was afraid.
Mulder brushed a lock of hair off of Alex's brow. "Hey, let's not get all bogged down by this." When Alex just stared at him, he tried a sickly smile. "It is just my fears about this age thing manifesting itself in my dreams."
"By getting fist fucked by some madman?"
Fox blushed furiously. "I must have a lot more anxiety about this than I thought. I feel helpless, tied down like in the dream."
"You're tied down, too!" Alex growled. He wrapped his arms about Fox and held him tight. "I hate that you even had to dream that. What do you want me to do?" He felt a little helpless himself. He was in unfamiliar territory as it was, loving someone else, especially loving someone so much that the whole world didn't just seem to revolve around Fox, it did revolve around him. Even this much younger version of him. He kissed Fox's smooth neck.
"Do?" Fox chuckled. "You can't do any...Uh, you know, there is something you can do."
The sexy purr in Fox's voice was something that Alex was helpless to ignore. He craved that purr like a junkie craved the rush of speed. He wanted to ignore it, wanted to rip the last vestiges of the ugly dream out of Fox's thoughts with the sheer power of his will, but Fox shifted beneath him. "What is it? What can I do?" His breath quickened when Fox ran his hand down his back, like a whisper, so light it screamed.
"You can shower with me."
Alex raised a brow. "Shower? As in get clean or enjoy your little toys?" Fox had never ceased to amaze him. Putting manacles on the wall and installing an extra hose for some erotic play was just one of the things that made him love this quirky man...barely a man now, he amended. Twenty-something wasn't close to being a child, but he looked so tenderly vulnerable lying on the sheets, hair tousled from uneasy sleep. Sleep filled with dreams of rape. He hid his rage at the dream behind a lazy smile.
Mulder chuckled. "Just get cleaned...but maybe I will enjoy *you're* little toys."
Alex nipped at Mulder's upper lip and growled a bit. "Little?"
Mulder pushed Alex off with a grin. "Well, I didn't mean little of course. But, why don't you come into the shower and remind me anyway?"
Alex followed Fox, eyeing the lithe form, the ass that was always round and firm, looking rounder, more eager now. The crevice deeper. He shrugged, there had to be some benefits anyway, didn't there? And Fox's ass, always enticing, was now a feast, his feast. He frowned again; he didn't want to think of all the people who had made his list. The list of men who seemed to find that ass, and the beautiful man it belonged to, something that could be won and gobbled up. It was surely going to explode in numbers now that Fox looked like he was some innocent prey. The list comprised men who were dangerously close to meeting up with some serious mishap. The man on the third floor who always managed to do laundry at the same time as Fox; the bartender at the bar Mulder liked to frequent; several agents in the Hoover; an old friend of Mulder's from Oxford who liked to "casually" inform Mulder from time to time, how wealthy he had become. The list was long. The men were fools. This list of men that had no idea what kind of man Fox belonged to.
Belonged to?
At first it had been that. Alex had conquered the unconquerable, the object of every sweat-slicked fantasy he had had for years, the man who had from the first moment, set him on fire. Those lips, that body so tight. Mulder simply had been something that he wanted to take, to own, to master. But, now he belonged to Mulder just as surely as Mulder belonged to him. Alex had taken one look at those hazel eyes, eyes so scornful, as if Alex were just some two-bit schmuck he was saddled with while the perfect Scully was forbidden to work with him. It had amused him then, as it did now, how easily Mulder had fallen for the wide-eyed, young agent act. Alex hadn't been wide-eyed in a very long time, and he had been as ruthless a killer as anyone in the Consortium. Alex hadn't cared when he looked in the mirror and seen nothing reflected in his eyes, but he cared now.
Because of Fox.
Fox made him feel. Period. Fox was the only thing he cared about anymore. The only thing he had cared about for a long time. That first moment, caught in the indifferent gaze, was like looking down the barrel of a gun, certain to feel the impact of metal for the split second before death. He had been lost then, but hadn't known it. In the end he had given in to the desire to have Mulder. He had spent too long fighting his lust, had come here, to Mulder's little lair, to take what he wanted, to pump out all the years of frustration into the lean body that haunted him. What would come after that he didn't care. He had only thought of the way Mulder would feel around him, hot and tight, his curses ineffectual, his fists no longer as effective as he had been allowed to assume. He had come here to rape Mulder, to spread those long legs and pound deep into his ass, and to hope somehow that Mulder would like it. Instead he had stood, motionless beside the leather couch, while Mulder had struck him, called him a rat, called him a coward, helpless as always in front of the beautiful agent.
It still confused him, how things had worked out. Even as Fox drew him into the shower he couldn't quite believe that Fox had, that night months ago, finally stopped hissing at him stopped slapping him, had just stared at him. They had stared at each other for several, silent moments, until Alex, the would-be rapist, asked, "Can I kiss you?"
Fox's reply, still made him grin.
"You damn well better."
It had been the beginning of Alex's life.
And now, nothing on this Earth would take Mulder from him. Nothing. Not even the men who had controlled him for so long. Men, Alex had finally convinced he was too dangerous to kill. Even that bastard Spender's little raspy calls in the middle of the night had ceased.
"Are you even here with me, baby?"
Mulder's voice cut through Alex's thoughts and he smiled. "Always." He punctuated that sentiment with a searing kiss, leaving Fox, as Alex liked him best, gasping and eager. He stared at Fox, really looked at him. God he was beautiful. Already the age thing was sinking in, becoming part of Alex's perception of Fox. Gone were the sexy lines around those hazel eyes, but the same soul stared out. "God. I love you, Fox."
Mulder shivered with pleasure. Alex's voice. So sexy, so intense. The dark lashes were wet in the shower, the expressive green eyes filled with adoration. He kissed Alex then, tasting the flavor of mint that had once caused Mulder to accuse Alex of eating mints while Fox slept. Alex always tasted of mint and smelled like soap and leather. He got hardons now when he smelled leather, or mint. Once he'd gotten so hard doing laundry, smelling the Tide detergent, knowing then, happily, that he was completely insane. Insane for Alex. And he loved it.
"I love you."
Alex pulled him close. "Want to wash me?"
"Mmm yeah," Mulder moaned.
"I want you to wash me, everywhere." He had to admit that he loved the way Mulder looked, even if he felt like a old man.
Mulder picked up the bar of soap and eagerly set to his delicious task. Alex was a work of art, smooth lines and sleek muscles. The most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He washed Alex's muscled chest first, paying close attention to the small, tight nipples. Licking his lips as Alex moaned in pleasure. Alex arched under the soapy caress as Fox's hands traveled downward, soaping the hard stomach, the thickening length of Alex's cock. He sank to his knees and lapped at the head, staring up at Alex, watching the way pleasure took over there. Alex licking his lips, throwing his head back as Fox took the head into his mouth.
"Oh, baby, I love your mouth," Alex sighed, spreading his legs further apart under the hot water.
Fox groaned. Alex loved this, loved when Fox was on his knees pleasuring him. It made Fox feel powerful, making Alex shake and moan.
"God, Fox, your m-mouth...oh, baby, that's so good."
Fox wanted to be inside Alex. He wanted to feel the tight clench of him, the way Alex would always be surprised by how much he loved getting fucked.
"I want you," Fox groaned, pulling off the cock reluctantly. He saw Alex's eyes narrow with lust and he grinned. Alex was probably eager to turn him around and take control. He rose and turned Alex around cupping the hard ass cheeks and biting Alex's neck. "I need you."
Alex trembled. The need in Fox's voice more than enough of a stimulant to get him to bend over slightly, enough for him to tremble in anticipation.
***
Scully had been awake for hours, wanting to call Mulder and wake him, but deciding against it. She had spent hours in front of the mirror, shocked. She fingered her smooth face, finding not even the slightest trace of line or sag. Her body too was tight and high. She put on a pantsuit that had been tailored to fit her and so was ill fitted now. She weighed less, she'd checked three times. She'd been trim before, now she was simply gangly. Her eyes narrowed as she stepped out of her home. If anyone called her Miss or looked at her in a condescending way, she would be forced into violence.
Her greatest regret was that Mulder was part of it. He'd worked so hard against all the sneers and doubters, had held so steadfast to his mission. Now, no one would take him seriously. He looked like some poster boy, some young college kid. Still, he was older than she was. At least he was in his twenties. Scully had hated being a teenager; she was not pleased to be experiencing it again. Thank God they had gotten off that damned carousel before she was trapped back in puberty. That was nothing she needed to experience for the second time.
She got in her car, headed for a doctor's appointment. The only thing that made this bearable was the possibility that what Mueller had whispered could possibly be true. The things that had been done to her might have been erased. She might be able to have children. That was what she was going to find out. Her thoughts went to the man she had been thinking of all night. Skinner. How would she ever get him to see her as anything other than the one sane thing holding Mulder to the ground, now? She knew he had found her attractive, had in fact caught him glancing at her discretely, but now? He'd never want her. Even though she was the same inside, she realized that people would look at the two of them together and want to go running to the phone to call the police.
She wanted to call Mulder and have him go to the doctor with her. She wanted to lean on him, but that would shatter his image of her. She was his rock, and though he was every bit her rock, she couldn't let him know it. He was protective enough as it was. If he knew she needed him...ever...he'd be impossible to deal with. Her frown gentled as she thought of her partner. She even giggled as she remembered his first look at himself in that hospital mirror and had seen the beautiful youth staring back. He had even shrieked a bit, much to his annoyance and her amusement.
What a pair they were. The Junior Team. That was what she'd been told they were already being called. She wanted to scream, but instead she simply drove. She would call Mulder after the appointment...if it were good news. If not, then she would...she would think of it when the time came.
***
Alex was tight, hot and eager. Fox couldn't get deep enough, couldn't move fast enough, orgasm was a taunting victor just ahead of him. He felt the hot rush of Alex's completion in his pumping hand and the corresponding clenching of his ass muscles on Fox's cock made Fox scream. Orgasm descended on him and only Alex's grip on the conveniently placed manacles kept them both on their feet. When Alex slowly released the manacles the two slid to the floor. Manacles in the shower, placed for more erotic play, had been Fox's idea. He loved locking Alex's hand up and teasing the sexy man to distraction. But he loved it even more when it was he in the manacles. Alex had revealed that he was as accomplished at sexual torture as he was in other forms of torture. Shuddering, holding Alex close to him, Fox lazily nibbled on his neck.
"That was incredible," Alex sighed.
"Mmmm."
Alex chuckled. "You love to get clean don't you?"
Mulder chuckled. "I love it."
Alex turned to face Fox. "Like you loved when I put my hands around your neck...in this shower...while you were helpless? When I made you come while you could barely breathe?"
Mulder groaned. That had been the most frightening, highly erotic moment of his life. Alex so deep inside him, after playing with Mulder's body so long that Mulder had become a whimpering mass, hands, strong and able, closing around his throat...thinking he had made a horrible mistake in trusting the assassin. And then the oxygen depletion in his brain had magnified his pleasure to such a pinnacle that when orgasm had hit it was like a bomb going off inside him. He had awoken in bed, cuddled up to a very satisfied lover.
"Oh God, Alex. You are going to be the death of me," he whispered in the cooling spray.
"Never! I'll never hurt you," Alex growled. But Mulder's happy sigh made him kiss those ripe lips, trace his tongue over that enchanting mole. "But, what a way to go, huh?"
"Tell me about it." Mulder finally stood, realizing as he did, that it was always he who ended their embraces. Alex would be quite content to sit on the shower floor cuddling, even when the water turned to ice. It made him happier than he would have thought he could ever be. "Come on. Let's go somewhere. Go to the beach...go walking...I'm starved."
Alex watched as Mulder bounded out of the stall, his energy back in full. It was a reminder of Fox's youth. He followed, eyes down, drying off silently until Fox's hand lifted his chin.
"What is it?" Fox asked.
"I...nothing, baby, nothing," Alex smiled. He was glad he was still young himself. God forbid Fox had waited to jump on that carousel until they were both old and gray. He was only thirty-two, not even close to being too old to enjoy the exuberance of his Fox.
Fox kissed him and petted him until Alex finally laughed. "What are you doing, baby? I thought you wanted to go out?"
"Now, I want to stay inside," Fox purred, stroking Alex's spent cock.
"Just like that?"
"Just like that. I can't look at you naked for long and remember anything else," Fox admitted. "I have no where to go...and you are so...so sexy. I want you to take me...hard...make me scream...again."
Alex felt his cock stir. Young or old, his Fox was a kinky baby. God love him. "Oh yeah?"
Fox stroked Alex gently, his eyes burned. "Yeah."
"Wanna play a game?"
Fox's eyes slid half-closed and his breath hissed out excitedly. "Mmm hmmm."
Alex smiled slowly. "You want to play a new game?"
Fox just nodded, ever eager for Alex's games. They were never violent, Alex would only go so far as to tie Mulder up, but he wouldn't hurt him, Fox didn't want him to, but every time Alex took on a new role Fox fell into it with excited ease. What would he do? Would he push him to the bed, cover his eyes with black silk and take him without a word? Would he act like an innocent friend that Mulder had to seduce? Would he put on music and strip for Mulder, asking for money in advance? It didn't matter, in the end, it was just the two of them holding each other as their ecstasy subsided. Only with Alex had Fox ever been comfortable enough to let it all go, lose himself in passion, not caring if someone else might think it was odd or ridiculously obscene. In Alex's arm he could be anyone...anything.
"Want to play...uh...boy scout..." Alex began.
Fox hit him with a little laugh, "That's disgusting."
Alex chuckled. "I had to make one little dig."
"Too good to be true. That was what your silence on the subject was," Mulder grinned, wondering if he was truly insane. It didn't matter right now that he was utterly changed, he just wanted to get closer to Alex.
***
They lay together, quietly in the late morning light. Alex kissed Fox's forehead. "Are you okay?"
Fox smiled and nodded. "You always ask me that. I'd think by now that you'd get it, that you aren't going to break me." He nipped at the arm Alex had wrapped about him. "I actually like it like that."
"What? Rough?" Alex chuckled.
"Yeah. But it is more that I like how you try not to be and you can't help it."
"I'm not rough," Alex protested, but only lazily. Fox did drive him crazy.
Mulder turned to face him. "You're perfect. I love it."
Alex stretched then under the praise. "I do know what I'm doing, don't I?"
Mulder rolled his eyes and got up, trying to hide a smile. "Oh, no. I've created a monster."
Alex watched Mulder move to the bathroom. He loved watching him. Loved the way he moved. That hadn't changed. He had to admit too that taking Fox was even better now, if that were possible. There was the undeniable allure of tight, smooth skin, and youthful beauty. Being inside Fox was the thing he loved most, taking possession of that sleek body, deep inside, hearing the encouraging whispers turn to the inarticulate screams that made him want to devour him whole. Being taken by Fox had its own attraction, too. Feeling like he belonged to that beautiful man, loving the way he moved, the incredible pleasure of the act itself. He had never let anyone but Fox inside him, thinking it too passive, too submissive. He'd always been the one on top, and he loved it still, but with Fox he wanted everything. Even though he could happily spend the rest of his life moving into Fox's heat.
The phone rang and he realized that it had been ringing earlier, but neither he nor Fox had cared at the time. The answering machine picked up and Scully began to speak. Alex listened to her speak and he curled into the pillow, smelling Fox there. She could take Fox away from him, Alex knew. If she wanted to, if she insisted. It would break Mulder's heart, for Alex knew that he was well loved, but to lose Scully wasn't something Fox was ever going to be prepared to do. He actually, for a moment, longed for the days of consciousless action. He would have just removed the threat to his happiness. But Scully was safe. Not only because Mulder loved her, but too, because Alex was beginning to like the person he was becoming. Someone who could look in the mirror and see *something,* some soul looking back. Still, he hid his face and listened to her. He frowned, she actually sounded odd. Then he realized it was the age difference. He smiled. She sounded like a kid.
Maybe a Scully who had to worry about acne wasn't as formidable an opponent as the cool agent who had Mulder wrapped around her finger. Maybe a young Scully would be easier for Mulder to talk to. Mulder came out of the bathroom, still damp from his quick shower just as Scully hung up.
"Let's go eat. I'm starving."
Alex slid out of bed, covering his groin with a pillow. When Mulder raised a questioning brow, Alex looked innocent. "Hey, I'm hungry too! Can't risk you attacking me because my gorgeous body captivates you."
Mulder laughed; the sound of it made Alex warm.
"I'd say you have a big head...but you'd just love it," Mulder teased.
"Don't worry, baby, you told me that enough just a little while ago," Alex purred as he passed Mulder. The delicious memory of Fox saying just that caused a pleasant ache in his groin. "I'll go take a quick one and then you can take me wherever you want."
"Really?" Mulder was surprised, Alex was usually quite specific as to where they could and could not go. He seemed overly cautious of people and Mulder suspected that it had to do with the way Alex perceived people wanting Fox. He smiled. Alex was nothing if not possessive. He'd had to give up his favorite bar because of the way Alex stared at the friendly bartender. It was not a glare, more assessing than that. Alex scared him at times. He could never quite get the image of the young agent out of his head, but he knew now that Alex was dangerous. Dangerous and ruthless. That darkness was nothing he ever saw directed at himself, but it was there, simmering beneath the surface, making every moment with him exciting. He smiled remembering the flirty agent who had come in with a broken arm after his car's brakes had failed. It didn't go unnoticed by Mulder that it was the same agent who had popped over his apartment with a six-pack of beer and a neatly wrapped package saying he thought it was Mulder's birthday. That Alex hadn't been present to witness the event, nor the rather aggressive way Mulder had to get the man to leave, didn't make any difference. Alex was always aware of what Mulder was doing. The black, silk shirt the agent had wrapped up as a gift had disappeared, too.
"Well, I thought maybe The Loft for brunch." It was a challenge and Alex knew it. The Loft was a remodeled inn on the north side of the District. It was owned and run by gays and had an pretty interesting clientele as well as one of the best menus. The upper rooms were always rented out, though there was never any unseemly activity to be observed. A traveler could easily come in, dine and leave never knowing that the mostly male, sometimes famous, clientele were eyeing each other appreciatively. It was a wonderful place to go but Alex had never let them go. Fox had wanted to show him off at several places, knowing he would be the envy of every man, but Alex refused. No night clubs, no nothing. Maybe he would lighten up as they had stayed together for three months. Not long in the scheme of things, but for them it was enormous.
Alex frowned, but relented. "Fine with me."
Fox smiled at him and hurried to get dressed.
****
Jo's turn!